First timers. Be careful with the swimmers.

Oh, the good old first-timers. The awkwardness, the nerves, the excitement, the unpredictability that comes with touching somebody else's. Just like how Fleabag says it. “I’m not obsessed with sex, I just can’t stop thinking about it. The performance of it. The drama of it. The moment you realize someone wants your body”. It was junior year of high school and I was determined. All of my friends in my group, except two, lost their virginity: one being me and the other was our uptight friend, who unfortunately was too mature for teenager boys to try with…well until a 19 year old guy popped her cherry in the back of a jeep that summer. But for me, I felt that being a 17-year-old virgin was unbearable. So before I turned 17 that year, I ventured off to find myself a successful bachelor. Let’s call him Jack. He was a swimmer and swam during my diving practices. Looking back at it, I really wondered how he fancied me while I was diving - which consisted of me crying, smacking with my legs twisted apart, and looking like a sleep-deprived gremlin during the winter months. Further note, during the winter months, due to the temperatures and being outside, the divers huddled around hot showers until it was our turn to dive. I am telling you, that is some Navy SEAL stuff right there when your coach is yelling at you to step onto the cold board and do 2 and a half flips while you are in the steamy shower. Anyway, the swim team always finished earlier than we did, and guess where their exit walk was? Behind the boards. So every practice, Jack would pass me in his tight Olympic swim leisure. He was cute, tall, and a perfect candidate for my virgin ass. And as the months passed, we would catch each other’s eyes. The funny thing is, I don’t remember how I got his Snapchat... I think it was because of a friend. But one thing led to another, and we planned to have sex. The great thing was, was that he confessed he was a virgin too. So after blabbering on for days to my friends, I planned it accordingly. My parents would be gone one night, and I had the whole house all to myself. I relished in the idea that I would be doing such a scandalous thing. I cleaned my house and set the time. Without much thought into it, he said he was grabbing some Chipotle after practice because he was so hungry. So I waited, and he came. He walked in, and I got so nervous that I went straight to our kitchen. I don’t know. Something about a kitchen island between us was more suitable for the arrangement. We talked, and I offered him water. I noticed he was very confident, cocky, arrogant? Why would a virgin man be so confident? I thought. Then I showed him my bedroom. All of a sudden, he said, “I have all this chlorine on me. Wanna take a shower?” Wow, a shower? And without hesitation, we were taking off our clothes and making out in my parents large, steamed shower. We tried to have sex but like predicted, it was too awkward to have sex. However, during our rendezvous, I did notice one thing: his dick. well obviously. But it also seemed to be half flaccid. “It is probably because we are in a hot shower,” I thought. “Or am I not doing enough?” So I upped the game and really started stroking it. But no change. So as we hopped out of the shower, I didn’t give it much thought after. When we entered my room, We continued to make out, our hair wet but our bodies dry. This is it. This is it. But as I looked down, to my unsettling surprise, his dick continued to stay dormant. What was going on? Was it me? He then noticed my concerns and said, “I don’t know why it is doing this.” My mind was racing. I had these clean sheets, and I douched perfectly. I studied for two hours that day on how to properly douche. Dragged myself to Walgreens and bought myself a big fat red one in front of a judgmental grandma. Cleaned everything. Shaved everything. And this was the one night I had to myself before I turned 17. What shall I boy do? Then, to my demise, he said' “Do you want to fuck me?” Huh, I was taken aback. I, for some reason, thought I was the bottom in this. We discussed I was more submissive and he was dominant. But I guess I forgot I also have a dick and not just an asshole. So with some hesitation, I agreed. He lay on his back, and I got the lube. I stuck it in, and wow, it felt weird. It was a good feeling, and well, he definitely was enjoying it. All the moaning was deterring my mind from what I really wanted…To be fucked. His dick was still soft. Come on! I later found out that he has been a competitive swimmer all his life, and because he was training for nationals, he had to buy this very expensive and very tight swimsuit. So after some research, maybe it prevented his penis from working. Anyway, we ended the date with our cum on the towels…and leaving me with a dissatisfied hole. But as he left, I realized, I still lost my virginity! I was ecstatic, and my friends called me after, so I invited them over! We all celebrated, and they were interested but also, looking back at it, kind of uncomfortable with my experience. My friends were accepting but also, they at times showed their true colors, especially when I talked about gay sex. I don’t totally blame them. They were teenage girls who weren't totally comfortable with the idea of a guy talking about sex in front of them. But anyway, I did it! I poured some wi.."OH MY GOD, IS THAT SHIT?" my friend screamed as she went to my bedroom. I and the rest of the group quickly went to my bedroom, only to find a giant gleaming streak of shit dragged all on top of my comforter. I then looked down at my pants, and we all started screaming. I guess I forgot that although I might have done the due diligence of douching, Mr. Chipotle did not. When my parents got home, I told them I had a change of heart over my comforter and threw it away. For that birthday, they got me a new one.

xoxo C